What to Do in the First 72 Hours After a Loved One Becomes Incapacitated (Ontario, Canada Guide)

When a loved one becomes suddenly incapacitated — due to illness, injury, coma, or hospitalization — the first 72 hours can feel overwhelming.

You may be trying to:

• understand medical updates

• support other family members

• manage responsibilities they can no longer handle

And one question often comes up quickly:

“What am I supposed to do right now?”

The goal in the first 72 hours is not to solve everything.

It is to:

• understand who can make decisions

• gather the right information

• stabilize immediate responsibilities

Understanding Who Can Make Decisions

If your loved one is alive but unable to make decisions, someone must be legally authorized to act.

In Ontario, this is typically done through a Power of Attorney (POA).

There are two types:

Power of Attorney for Personal Care

This person makes decisions about:

• medical care

• treatment

• housing

• safety

Continuing Power of Attorney for Property

This person manages:

• banking

• bills

• insurance

• financial obligations

These are two different roles — and both may be needed right away.

To learn more about the types of POAs, their responsibilities and how to appoint a POA, visit: https://www.ontario.ca/page/make-power-attorney

If no POA exists, families may need to apply through the Ontario Superior Court of Justice to become a legal guardian. This takes time and can delay decision-making, which is why many families feel stuck early on.

Step 1: Confirm the Medical Situation

Start by grounding yourself in the situation.

Ask:

• Which hospital and unit are they in?

• Who is the primary doctor or care team?

• Are they currently able to make their own decisions?

• Depending on the medical situation and notes in the will:

  • Do they have a DNR in place? Would they want one?

  • Are they an organ donor?

  • Would they want their last rites administered?

Also ask:

• Who is the main contact for updates?

• When and how will updates be provided? (Example: will you doctor call the spouse once a day or do they need to call in to the nurse’s station for updates?)

This avoids confusion and prevents multiple family members from calling for the same information.

Step 2: Identify the Legal Decision-Maker

If available, locate the Power of Attorney paperwork (make sure your family knows where to find it and it’s encouraged to keep copies with your will):

• Power of Attorney for Personal Care

• Power of Attorney for Property

Confirm:

• who is named

• whether they are available to act (there are different ‘rules’ when a POA can step in - the paperwork will outline this part too)

If these documents don’t exist, speak with hospital staff about substitute decision-makers. Ontario has a legal hierarchy, but it may not align with what the family expects.

Step 3: Gather Critical Documents

Everyone is different and the medical situation will vary but here is a list of important documents you will likely need access to and to provide to the care team:

• Health card

• Insurance information

• Benefits booklet (if employed or self-employed with coverage)

• Medication list

• Personal identification

• Advanced Care Plan - Directive Forms (healthcare and end-of-life preferences and treatment identified including quality of life in different scenarios, DNR, feeding tube, ventilator, funeral wishes, etc.)

These documents will be requested repeatedly.

Step 4: Review Benefits, Insurance, and Income Support

This step is often overlooked — but incredibly important.

If your loved one is employed or self-employed, they may have:

• employer-sponsored benefits

• private health insurance

• disability insurance

• critical illness coverage

You should try to locate:

• benefits booklet

• insurance provider name

• HR or benefits administrator contact at their place of employment

• benefits administrator or contact name for benefits package, if self-employed

This helps you understand:

• Is a private hospital room covered?

• Are additional services (like TV rental, equipment, or rehabilitation) covered?

• Is there income replacement if they cannot work?

Depending on the situation, you may also need to explore:

• Employment Insurance (EI) sickness benefits

• CPP disability benefits

If you don’t know where to start, contacting the benefits administrator or HR department is often the fastest way to get clarity.

Step 5: Look at Their Day-to-Day Responsibilities

When someone has been hospitalized, when they are active but immobile or in a medical situation that makes them incapable of making decisions, this is where reality sets in quickly.

Take a look at their:

• work schedule

• personal appointment calendar

• personal or business email

• upcoming commitments

Ask yourself:

• Do they have appointments that need to be cancelled or rescheduled?

• Are there client meetings, shifts, or deadlines this week?

• Are there responsibilities at home that need to be covered? (Example: sports team coach, point person for children’s school, etc.)

Common examples of next steps depending on incapacitation:

• cancelling medical or business appointments

• notifying clients or colleagues/managers

• arranging childcare or pet care

• ensuring bills or rent are not missed

You are not trying to manage everything — just prevent immediate disruption.

Step 6: Communicate with the Right People

Your mind may be swirling at this point because you don’t have all the answers to what’s going on or when will they be discharged or will they leave the hospital?

Depending on the situation, you may need to communicate with:

• employer or HR department

• business partners, clients or patients

• close friends and family

• caregivers or service providers

Keep communication simple and factual. You do not need to share full medical details.

Example:

“[Name] is currently in hospital and unable to manage things right now. We’re working through next steps and will provide updates as we can.”

If they are employed:

• notify their employer

• ask about benefits, leave options, and next steps

If they run a business:

• identify who can temporarily step in

• notify key contacts only

Step 7: Keep a Record of Everything

Next steps can get overwhelming. It’s recommended to start a simple log to track:

• who you spoke to

• what was discussed

• what needs to happen next

You will be dealing with:

• healthcare providers

• insurers

• employers

• government programs

Tracking this reduces confusion later. And also helps to hold these parties accountable as your loved one’s condition progresses.

What Most Families Don’t Expect

This is one of the hardest parts.

There is no central system coordinating everything.

You may find that:

• no one explains the full process to you

• you have to ask the same questions multiple times

• information is given in pieces, not as a full picture (also the value of the simple log noted above)

• different people (doctors, nurses, admin staff) give different answers

• you don’t know what questions to ask

You may also feel:

• unsure if you’re making the “right” decisions

• overwhelmed by small but urgent tasks

• frustrated by how much you don’t know

This is normal.

Most families are learning in real time.

Final Thought

You are not expected to have all the answers, but understanding:

• who can act

• what documents matter

• what needs attention first

can help you move forward with more clarity and less stress.